


Meanie bears

by 00FFFF



Category: Hermitcraft
Genre: Gen, Grian learns not to mess with stuff he doesn't know anything about, Magic, Oneshot, Panda - Freeform, prankage, season 7
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-14
Updated: 2020-06-14
Packaged: 2021-03-04 01:40:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,709
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24575443
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/00FFFF/pseuds/00FFFF
Summary: Grian accidentally helps pull a prank on himself by stealing one of Scar’s magical misfit creatures’ heads. When things go wrong Scar decides to have some payback.
Comments: 22
Kudos: 105
Collections: Non-human Hermits





	Meanie bears

Grian ducks behind the trunk of one of the immensely large trees. He has to stop himself from laughing, from making any noise at all. Scar hasn’t seen him, and he doesn’t plan on giving himself away just yet, if at all.

He peeks around the corner, trying to see if he can spot the wizard anywhere. He seems to be busy with his farms. Good. Scar’s been having trouble with his villagers lately, if Grian remembers correctly. 

He sneaks past him, crouching behind the magical crystal in the center of the village. This is almost too perfect. Having a neighbor who’s so often distracted and clueless is a blessing to Grian’s mischievous nature. 

He darts at the village entrance once Scar turns around, almost slamming into the gates that were recently put into place. He quickly scours the ground for his target: Scar’s entrance to his villager breeder. 

After a minute of searching he finally spots it. Honestly, sometimes Scar goes a little overboard with his natural magic to decorate the place. It’s a wonder he can find the entrance himself at all, really!

But, glad he did manage to find it, Grian opens up the trapdoor and climbs down the ladder as quiet as possible. He drops to the floor, the villagers inside barely even acknowledging him.

They’re wearing all kinds of different animal heads. There’s cats, birds, bees, and even dragons! They really do look like magical misfit creatures. But Grian isn’t after any of Scar’s villagers or their heads. As difficult as they are to obtain, dragon heads really aren't that rare. No, he’s on the lookout for a very specific head. 

A panda head.

He doesn’t see any villager wearing it. Which makes sense, really. Pandas rarely drop their heads upon death, making them one of the rarest heads in general to obtain. It’s only natural that Scar wants to perhaps save it for a very special villager. Grian knows how long it took Scar to finally get his hands on one. And he knows how much he cares about that item as a trophy of the amount of ‘meanie bears’ he’s slain. He must have a _really_ special villager in mind for this one.

Which is exactly why Grian is going to ‘borrow’ it.

He digs through the various chests that litter the underground area, and much to his surprise, quickly locates the panda head. Oh, Scar... Did he really still not know not to leave his items unguarded when he's nearby? Grian chuckles, spinning the head around in his hands.

It’s very soft, and it almost looks as if... as if it’s _enchanted,_ somehow.

Grian shrugs it off and pops the head into his inventory with a satisfied grin. The villagers couldn’t care less, and Scar would be none the wiser. 

He climbs up the ladder again and opens the trapdoor just a bit, peeking out to see if the coast is clear. Once he deems it safe, he climbs out and runs back to his base. Another perfect prank, executed flawlessly by the Jungler!

Once safe inside his little hobbit hole, he pulls the head out of his inventory again. It’s hollow, almost like a mask, and most definitely enchanted with something. Oh, how long Scar will search for this head in his monstrosity of chests, not knowing that Grian has had it the whole time!  
He has to think about where to put it, though. Should he hide it somewhere? Somewhere inside his base, or... perhaps in Scar’s own, maybe? Yes, that’d be _great;_ hiding it in plain sight. 

Wait. He’s got a better idea. Grian laughs at the prospect of it all.

What if he wears the head? What if he wears it and scares Scar by creeping around his village? Yes. _Yes!_ Grian mentally pats himself on the back at his idea. He’s a criminal mastermind. An absolute master prankster, if he says so himself.

Unable to contain his excitement, he turns the head around in his hands. He has to see if it’ll fit, no? He has to know if he’ll be able to see through it in the first place. No use in pranking someone if you don’t even know what you’re doing. Grian snickers as he raises the head- the _mask_ above his own head. Scar is going to have a _field day_ trying to catch him! 

He hesitates no longer and puts the head on.

It’s a little snug, but it fits. Grian is happily surprised to find that he can see through it just fine. It- it’s rather tight, actually. Almost like the head is shrinking around his face, hugging him uncomfortably close.  
Grian doesn’t like it anymore. He tries to pull it off but he can’t get a good grip on the mask. It’s well and properly stuck to his face. The head just squeezes him tighter and tighter. He can't breathe. It squeezes around his throat, cutting off his windpipe. He has to... he-

He passes out.

Grian doesn’t know how much time has passed when he comes to, but he’s glad he does, at least. He catches his breath for a moment, glancing at his surroundings. Everything is hazy. What was he doing, again? Where is-

_The panda head._

Quickly Grian’s hands shoot up to his head, and- Yep. It’s still there. He tries to pull it off again but winces at the sudden pain it causes him. His heart beating faster, Grian tries again, but is once more met with pain. Like he’s... like he’s trying to pull off his _own skin._

He takes a deep breath in an effort to try and calm himself down a bit, and feels around for the edge where skin should meet fur. But he’s horrified to find that there _is no edge._ The mask, the head, it’s stuck. Not just that, it- it’s _fused_ to his face... Again Grian tries to pry it off, hurting himself as he digs his nails into his own flesh, desperately searching for the seam that doesn’t appear to exist.

Having worn himself out he drops his arms down his sides. This has gone wrong. This has gone terribly wrong. 

Not only could he feel pain through the panda’s thick skin and fur like it's his own, but he can also _smell_ and _hear_ through its features. He wipes at the tears threatening to roll down his- his _snout,_ shuddering when he makes contact with his nose. It’s freaky. _God,_ is it freaky. 

There has to be a way to get himself out of this mess. There’s got to be a way to fix this. He doesn’t care about the prank anymore. Grian’s done with all those stupid villagers and their stupid heads.

Scar. He must have an answer to this. He can fix this. He’s a wizard, isn’t he? He’s done something to these heads, so he must know how to undo it. Grian reaches for his communicator, and types out a message with shaking hands.

\----

Where is it? Where is it, where is it? _God_ where in the world did he put it?

Scar’s been searching for what feels like hours. It’s his own fault, really. He should know better than to let this happen, given his tendency to accidentally create chestmonsters wherever he goes.

Still, it’s frustrating to search for so long, and come out empty handed. He finally found the perfect villager to use this head on and now it’s _gone._

Did someone take it? Who even knew that he had a panda head in the first place? He hasn't seen anyone snooping around his village. But it couldn't have been one of the villagers. As annoyingly clever as they are, they don't know how to open chests. It had to have been a player. Right? Scar can't think of anybody who would intentionally _steal_ from him. Maybe somebody took it by accident. Maybe Scar misplaced it my accident _himself._ Nothing a quick message in the chat can't clear up. Scar pulls out his communicator.

He thinks about what to type, when the two most recent messages in the main chat catch his attention.

_ <Grian> scar _ _  
_ _ <Grian> h elp _

Oh dear.

He almost instantly forgets about his current problem, and quickly makes his way out of the villager area. He deploys his elytra and shoots up into the air, trying to see if he can figure out where Grian is.

He didn't provide any coordinates, so Scar assumes that he must be close by. He flies through the half-empty halls of his mansion, but it appears to be vacant. He checks the underground portion of the build, but that too is empty. The rockets Scar fires echo against the walls.

What other places could he check? The creeper farm? His hobbit hole? It's worth a shot, right? If he can't find him in those places he'll just ask Xisuma to teleport him to Grian.

Scar swoops down in front of Grian’s starter base, landing gracefully in a patch of farmland in front of it. He catches his breath before walking up to the entrance.

The door creaks open. It’s awfully quiet inside, Scar doesn’t hear anything or anybody. Is Grian even here?

“Hello? Grian?” Scar says. No response. In the corner of his eyes something shifts. Scar turns around to see.

With its back towards him, sits a- a panda? No, it- he’s wearing Grian’s clothes. Red sweater and all. How did it-?

The panda turns around and. Yep. That’s Grian, alright. He’s got his regular human hands and everything, just with a panda head.

Wait a second.

_Grian stole his panda head!_

Scar is about to give him a piece of his mind when he notices that Grian actually looks... _scared._

“...Scar?” He croaks out.

“Oh, Grian.” Scar walks closer, staring into those small, beady panda eyes. He doesn’t know how Grian does it, but he manages to make a panda look frightened.

At least he can still talk. Scar honestly isn’t sure if he would have been able to or not.

“What did you do?” He asks.

Grian doesn’t answer.

“Is that my panda head?”

Grian nods slowly.

“I should have known it was you. Come on, time to take it off now.” Scar says, fully knowing that Grian can’t. He almost feels bad about the flash of guilt that crosses the panda’s features.

But really, Grian should’ve known better than to steal magical items from a wizard. Much less put them on without knowing their effects. This is the man who’s been trampling his crops and redirecting zombies to his base since day one! He kind of brought this on himself. So, of course, Scar decides to tease him a bit more. _Really_ have Grian learn his lesson this time around.

“Grian, dude, it’s been fun. Please give it back now.”

He sniffs and looks up. “I- I can’t.”

“What do you mean ‘I can’t’?”

“I- I’m so sorry, Scar! I can’t take it off it... it _fused_ to my face somehow and now I can’t find where the head ends and my body begins anymore and I can _feel_ the fur on my face being brushed and it’s so freaky and creepy but. Scar, you have to help me, I promise I won’t snoop around your village anymore just _please_ help me get this thing off of my face.”

Scar has to keep himself from smirking. That’s exactly what he was hoping Grian would say. 

“Alright, let me see what I can do.” Scar puts his hand on Grian’s fluffy cheek, who flinches at the contact. Scar can only imagine what it must feel like, wearing a magically enchanted animal head like that. Must be quite jarring, if Grian’s reaction is anything to go by.

Scar gulps, faking concern in his eyes. “How long have you been wearing it?” He asks, voice low.

“Um... I don’t know? Why?”

Scar sucks in a breath in between his teeth. “This could be bad.” He says in as serious a voice as possible.

Grian bites. “Wh- what do you mean? What’s going to happen?” 

“I’ve only used these heads with villagers before, never with players. Who knows what could happen, really? Villagers I know, but players... they’re a whole different can of worms.”

Grian gulps.

“The fur is spreading, isn’t it?” Scar straight up lies. Still, Grian gasps and reaches up with his hands.

“It’s fused to your head and now the fur is spreading down.” Scar strokes his beard in fake thought. “I thought this might be a possibility, but I’ve never seen it happen to my villagers before.”

Grian grabs him by his robes. “Scar, you have to help! Get it off be before I- before I... I don’t want to become a panda! Please, I’m so so so sorry about your head, I’ll get you a new one too just. Please help me.”

Scar almost feels guilty. Almost. This is payback for all the times he pranked him.

“These heads were specifically meant for the villagers of my magical village, they were enchanted with a spell more powerful than a Curse of Binding. There’s simply no way you’re going to be able to take it off easily.”

“Is there no way of removing it, then?” Tears form in Grian’s eyes. Scar reaches out and brushes his thumb over Grian’s cheek.

He sighs deeply, furrowing his brows.

“Well... There might be a way.”

Grian’s black and white face contorts into what Scar can only assume is a relieved smile. He clenches Scar’s robes in his hands.

“Really?” He almost whispers. Scar nods.

“Mhm. But we have to act quickly. Let’s get back to Larry, come on.” He motions for Grian to follow him. He does so. Eagerly, even. Clearly afraid of the consequences that Scar completely made up. Scar really has to try his best not to smile and give himself away.

\----

They step outside, and though Grian's mind is racing with concerned thoughts about turning into an actual panda, the humid jungle air does seem to calm his nerves a bit.

Scar takes him by the hand and leads him through the dense vegetation back to his own base. They maneuver through a patch of bamboo stalks, and Grian catches a whiff of the plants. His stomach growls and Scar looks back, worried.

He reaches out towards the, frankly, delicious-looking plants despite himself, but Scar, thankfully, pulls him away before he can act upon his new instincts.

Oh god, he’s really turning into a panda, isn’t he? 

Not a moment too soon does Scar usher him up into Larry the snail. He sits Grian down on top of a workbench, and starts digging through the dozens of chests that litter the main floor of his starter base.

Items are tossed onto the floor and picked up again as Scar appears to search for a specific item. Grian has no clue what he has in mind to save him from this- this _curse,_ he supposes it is. But if he knows Scar, and Grian likes to think he does, then it could take him a while to actually find it.

In the midst of the chaos Grian manages to get a hold of a smaller piece of bamboo. He tries, he _really_ tries not to chew on it. But he finally gives in, and starts gnawing. It does wonders taking his mind off of the stressful situation he’s found himself in, and it actually feels rather nice against his sharp teeth.

After a while Scar sighs deeply and lets himself slide down against one of the chests. He wipes his brow, looking down at the floor boards.

“It, uh... It appears that I may have misplaced the item needed to give you your normal head back.” He says softly.

The bamboo drops from Grian’s grip.

“No, no no no you can’t- It has to be somewhere, right? I can- I can help look for it. I mean, my eyesight is crap right now but I can’t stay a panda forever, Scar. Please...”

Scar looks up. He gives Grian a lopsided grin.

“Y’know, the face of a meanie bear really does suit your sneaky personality, I must say.”

_“Please...”_ Tears are threatening to fall again.

Scar’s grin drops. “No, yeah. You’re right, I’m sorry. I’ll go look upstairs.” He jumps to his feet and hastily climbs up the ladder. Grian sighs and lets himself fall back down on the workbench. He scratches his neck, wincing at the feeling of fur against his hand, and his hand against his fur.

A couple of minutes pass in relative silence, the only sound being the floorboards (or the ceiling? Maybe they're the same. Grian isn’t sure) creaking as Scar stomps his way across the room upstairs. He can't have _that_ many chests up there, right?

Then a loud “Ahah!” shakes Grian from his thoughtless stare, and soon thereafter Scar comes climbing back down the ladder, holding a small glass-like object in his hands. It’s pink.

No. Oh no. Ohhh no no no no no. Grian knows all about Scar and his ‘magical’ shards of glass. He's the one with a panda head stuck to his face which is slowly taking over his mind and body, and a _crystal_ is supposed to solve this? Is he serious?!

Grian gets up, ready to leave and find someone else to help him. Xisuma, or Cub, even, when Scar blocks the exit.

“I know what you’re thinking, G, I know. But trust me on this one, alright? Hear me out, at least.”

Grian nods. “Alright then, let’s hear it.”

“Okay. Good. So, you know how player heads drop when they are killed by PVP? I’m willing to bet that if we do that to you, you’ll lose the panda head upon respawn.”

“So, why the glass?”

“It’s a magical respawn crystal! It’s to make sure that you’ll come back to the world of the living safe and sound! Come on, hold it for a second, at least. Feel its power for just a moment.” He holds out the thing for Grian to take.

“I... don’t know about this, Scar...” He can feel his hair (or is it fur?) stand up straight on the back of his neck. 

“I mean, unless you _want_ to become a panda? For good?” Scar reaches out towards Grian with his other hand, running it down to the edge of the fur. 

"Hmm, I think it's spread further already." He mutters to himself, and Grian yelps, shocked.

He quickly shakes his head and grabs onto the crystal, if only to please Scar. He might look a bit silly in his wizard robes, but he at least looks like he knows what he’s doing. _God,_ Grian hopes that he knows what he’s doing. This whole predicament is partly Scar’s fault, after all. He better be right about this respawn thing.

Scar leads him outside, straight to the guillotine at the edge of the village. Grian never would have thought that his own creation would be used on himself, to be quite honest. 

He sets his spawn in the bed just beside the contraption, and then turns to face Scar. He pulls out his diamond sword from his inventory, inspecting its sharpness. Scar meets Grian’s gaze, and there’s almost something... something _smug_ in his look before it dissolves into sympathy. 

Grian can’t think about it for too long, however. He clutches the crystal in his hand, bringing his other one up to his face. He brushes his hand from his ears down, past his snout, to his neck, where the fur faded into skin. He never signed up for this. He thought that having a wizard as a neighbor would lead to fun hijinx and silly antics. Not... not _this._ He takes a deep breath, and then takes his place underneath the guillotine.

“Ready?” Scar asks. Grian closes his eyes and nods. “Yeah. I trust you.”

_Scar better be right about this._

“Here we go, then." He says, raising up his sword.

"Three,

two,

one!” 

Scar’s slash is so clean that Grian almost doesn’t feel it. That said, the adrenaline of the whole situation probably helps. Still, Grian can’t complain.

With a gasp he wakes up in the bed a couple of blocks to the side. He immediately presses his hands up to his face, and lets out a sound of disbelief at the feeling of his _own face._ He’s back! Scar did it! Grian can’t help but smile as tears begin to trickle down his normal, soft, _human_ cheeks. Through them he can see Scar looking at him with a big grin on his face. 

He steps closer, holding up the dropped panda head. Grian darts up out of the bed, hugging Scar closely.

“You did it! Thank you so much, Scar- I... You saved me!”

Scar laughs, prying Grian off of him. He has a fond smile on his face.

“No problem, G. I think you’ve learned your lesson, am I right?”

Grian nods heavily. "No more messing with villagers and heads and magically enchanted items for me. I'm definitely done."

“Good.” Scar turns around and bounces off. Probably back towards his villager breeder, Grian supposes. Scar has a happy skip in his step, twirling the panda head in his hands.

“Oh, by the way,” He promptly stops and says. “You wouldn’t _actually_ have turned into a panda.”

...

“Probably.” He winks.

Before Grian even gets the chance to say anything back Scar fires a bunch of rockets and takes off into the air.

Grian jumps up to follow him but then realizes he isn’t wearing his elytra. He just died, he doesn’t have it. He doesn't have anything! Why didn't he put his stuff into a chest? Gah! He scans the ground where moments ago his stuff lay scattered around but none of his items are there anymore. Scar... he bloody took all of his items- The bastard!

Scar circles the air above him, his laughter bouncing off of the surrounding trees. Grian just sighs and opts to sink back into the bed. Scar can have his moment of victory for now. He’ll get him back someday, one way or another. Just he wait.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading!! This took an unusually long time to complete, so I'd love to hear your thoughts! :D


End file.
